The Place I Wake..

About a month ago, I had a really bizarre dream. I went to bed pretty early, and it must have screwed with my sleep pattern a little bit, because I began to have weird nightmares!

I woke up suddenly in my room because the window was open, and the wind blew my lamp over! The lamp crashed onto my floor, but luckily didnt break. I walked over to pick it up, but thought to myself, "this isnt my room!" Everything was in the exact same place where it was when I went to bed, but nothing was really the same. The walls did not look blue, but they almost had a faded yellow-ish tint, like they had not been cleaned for years! My lamp, even though it didnt break, had holes in the lampshades, and the blue and white floral print on the glass was faded and chipped. All the light fixtures had dust and cobwebs, and the floor was covered in dustmites, fur and leaves. The room was exactly the same, but not at all. 

I woke up in a sweat and realized that I had just had the worst dream! (only because I thought it was real) I went to bed in one place, or one decade, and then woke up (at least I thought I was awake) in a completely different time period! The room looked as though it had been abandoned for fifty years, but nothing was moved. The whole idea kind of creeped me out because the whole next day I started wondering what this house will look like in 50 years, if I will still own it, or who would live in it! The future began to scare me, only because it seemed to scary in my dream.

However, just like the giant spider chasing Dr. Sexson, it was only a dream. I do not live in an abandoned house, but I do obviously need to work on my sleep patterns!

20 minutes for a lifetime...

My mom just read my capstone paper and I think she felt the "20 minute lifetime" that we have been talking about this whole semester. Our house, the only house that has ever really felt like "home" to me, sold last week, and will close on June 1st. I have had really mixed emotions about the whole thing, but I know its for the best. Because of this, my mom has been going through boxes and storage units to try adn clear everything out. She mentioned how she opened up one box and that her emotions began to jump like crazy! In the box were all the old letters my siblings and I would write to her and my father when we were children, old report cards, pictures.. etc. She has been going through boxes like this for the entire week! And during this entire week, she told me that she has seemed to relive our entire lives in such a short time, and she continues to tell me how much it affects her. When the past is so obvious and is sitting right in front of you, it is hard to escape it. I have been feeling this way about a lot of things lately, which is why I kind of wrote my capstone paper on our past and future, and how those two become hindrances in our lives at times. 

Burnt Norton

I keep going back to Burnt Norton this semester. Because it was the section of the Four Quartets that my group in capstone covered, I read it at least twenty times, maybe even more... (I only read it so much because I have based my capstone paper around it.) Anyways- I was going through my notes and realize how interested in the "point" and past, present and future I have been. I thought that I would share some of the things I discovered and thought was noteworthy.

-Time and conciousness are abstract principles.

-however expansive and infinite time is, it is controlled by the present. And whatever actions are done in the present control what happened and will happen in the past and future.

-past and future are always contained in the present.

-conciousness implies a fixed perspective while time is characterized by a transient relativity. (around the fixed point of the present)

-memory vs. temporal existance- which allows for the moments of greatest beauty.

-ruins are a symbol of the fultility of human aspirations and particularly the futility of trying to alter the natural order.

-coherence never existed at all. things did not once make sense and now seize to do so. Meaning and human experiene are necessarily mutually exclusive.

-only art is able to acheive transcendance over time.

-living for the future, while remembering the past- does this make it so a persons conscious is never completely in teh present?

-"the point" the one point that things never ascend, decline. from nor towards. it is still. it is in the complete present of consciousness.

Presentations

Some of my favorite weeks during the school year include the two weeks when everyone gives their final group and individual presentations. Unfortunately, they also seem to be the weeks that I am the most stressed, and I tend to miss a few of them. The group presentations were always fun, creative and informing. I love how a group of people can come up with such fascinating ideas that relate to the many books we have read! In the end, everything from videos, farting clips and mulitiple Sexson impersonations led to a really entertaining week!

However, as much fun as the group presentations were, my favorite had to be the individual presentations this year! I was so impressed how everyone tried to be more creative and original than in the past classes I have taken. The entertainment started off with Brianne's well written and extremely gangster rap performance. I dont mean to choose favorites, but that might have been my favorite individual presentation to watch of my entire college career. Then there was Zach Morris, who showed his amazing musical talents! I was lucky enough to see a lot of it because I was in the video group with him. And how can I forget the interpretive dancing that lisa took on. I have watched the video of her ribbon dance on repeat, mainly because its really nice to laugh during finals! In the end, with singing performances, and amazing papers and ideas, I was really impressed. Nice job everyone!!!

My Finnegans Page

Here is the page I got more into than any other page of Finnegans Wake.